Brothers Michael and Sam have just moved to Santa Carla to live with their grandpa. Sure, the girls are hot and the beach jams are tasty, but something seems a little off. For one thing, Michael begins to stay out all night with his new biker gang friends, then sleeps all day. Sam’s new buddies at the comic store seem convinced that his brother has fallen in with a group of vampires, and set out to prevent his full transformation to a blood sucking creature of the night.
What can one say about The Lost Boys that hasn’t already been said? It showcases two of the worst things to ever come out of the 80’s in Corey Haim and Corey Feldman, is chalked full of some of the most horrendous dialogue ever written, and, the coup de grace, this oiled up rock n’ roll sax guy:
So this movie sucks, right? NO! In fact all these things that would normally sink a movie combine together in a way that actually makes it really good! I guess it is so dumb and cheesy that it transcends any normal expectations you would have and right away you realize you’re watching something a little different. Now, that doesn’t mean we don’t get to pick on all the goofy things that stick out in this movie. For instance, what’s up with Corey Haim?
Not really sure what’s going on with this guy. He has an interesting wardrobe choice, even for an 80’s teenager. He splits his time between pestering his taxidermist grandpa, cuddling with his pet husky, and flexing his brain muscles at the local comic shop. In the clip above of the beach concert, his brother Michael is clearly into the hot gypsy chick, while Sam can’t take his eyes of the sexy sax man. Ok, so maybe he’s just really into those kicking jams. Can’t argue with that. But what about that scene where he’s looking for a place to stash gandpa’s taxidermy owl and there’s a poster of an ab-bearing Rob Lowe closet door?
And last but not least, what the hell is up with the scene where this teenaged kid taking a bubble bath and singing into a brush?
It is unfortunate how many Gen-Y girls must have discovered their sexuality to this scene
The special features are a must see…sort of. The special edition DVD release has an additional disc which is entirely special features, and contains a section titled, I shit you not, “Haimster and Feldog.” It features the two Coreys – Feldman in his gothic, smug, completely delusional “I’m a Hollywood star” attitude we’re all too familiar with, and a pudgy, frosty-tipped Haim – basically chronicling their bromance and the artistic gift to the world their collaboration inspired. In fact, the entire special features disc is pretty much just commentary from Haimster and Feldog, presumably because everyone else involved in the movie can still find work. The only other people on there are director Joel Schumacher, who is practically wetting himself over his idea for a sequel titled The Lost Girls, and the guy who played Max wondering aloud how his character could be written into it, despite dying in the first one.
I gotta say, I really have a lot of disdain for modern Feldman. Yes, he was a lot of fun as a child actor in the 1980s. And sure, he’s still relevant in a ‘laughing at you, not with you’ sort of way. But as an adult this chowderhead just refuses to exit the limelight, instead continuing to try and milk the success of his childhood self, even though that shriveled teet dried up a long time ago. And the fact that Feldog blocked me on Twitter and told his followers to do the same after one harmless quip at his expense has absolutely nothing to do with my disdain for him.
So lets talk about these vampires. It seems like in every vampire movie these undead drinkers of blood are always beautiful, noble, and just all around cool kids who you want to become. But in The Lost Boys, Kiefer Sutherland and his bros are a bunch of dirty, unruly biker punks who spend their nights terrorizing the boardwalk. “Sleep all day, party all night, never grow old.” It’s a cool little twist on the typical vampire archetype. And Kiefer really brings it in Lost Boys. Watching the movie, he is clearly leaps and bounds above the next best actor in terms of ability and general bad-assery. I also loved seeing Alex Winter of Bill and Ted fame in this. The guy has played like two characters in his short acting career and they are both classics.
The last thing I want to mention about this film is that, given the title, this is obviously a Peter Pan reference, where the lost boys in Neverland never grow old and are looking for a mother. And yes, that comes into play in the movie, but only at the very end, and only for a a short moment. It’s during the climax of the movie and the reference comes out of left field and you’re like “oh yea, that makes sense,” but then the movie is over before you really had a chance to reflect on it. The deleted scenes reveal this subplot in depth, where the main vampire Max attempt to turn Sam and Michael’s mother into a maternal figure for the vampire gang. It is kind of goofy, and the scenes are terrible and were mercifully cut for that reason. But it seems like this theme should have been explored a little more in the final cut, if for no other reason than to further justify the use of such a bitchin’ title.
This movie is as hot as, um…a burning vampire skull (that’s pretty hot, but not, like, the hottest possible)
The Lost Boys will always have a special place in my heart for giving me one of my favorite movie quotes of all time in, “Maggots, Michael; you’re eating maggots, how do they taste?”
It’s a great horror-comedy that is both fun and really refreshing in its simplicity. You will laugh at the absurdity of some of the dialogue, but also enjoy the fast pace and general likability of the movie as a whole. Chances are you’ve seen The Lost Boys. If you haven’t, do yourself a solid and see it now. If you have, treat yourself and watch it again!